That's intense
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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