sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was like getting head from an anaconda
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
