So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
