He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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