Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
