Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
