I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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