I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
