Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize