CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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