I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
