we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
