Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My dick has a subreddit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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