its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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