I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
