Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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