I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Mom said you looked used
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
