There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
