five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
