why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
