so explain again why im purple
no
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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