You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
