called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize