hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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