i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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