If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
