it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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