Just fell off a train. Bad.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
