the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
