girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
