who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
