I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
