i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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