These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
