you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
