it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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