I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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