so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
