If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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