morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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