I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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