they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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