It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
