seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
