why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize