You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
