I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
