dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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