I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
