Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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