I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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