I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
