those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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