and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
