i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
