is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
