I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize