I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
