Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
